The Moment I Said It
by CapriceTheAvenger
Summary: Sadly, things just happen we can't explain. ItaSasu ItaNaru One-Shot


Pairing(s): ItaSasu, ItaNaru

Rating: T

Summary: Sasuke confronts Itachi about his infidelity, and the tables finally turn. One-shot.

Dislcaimer: All Naruto characters belong solely to Masashi Kishimoto, and all rights for the lyrics to "The Moment I Said It", go to Imogen Heap.

Okay, there are many interpretations of this song, but this is _my _interpretation of it (or the idea that popped up in my head after listening to this song over and over, though many parts will not match up). Hope you enjoy!

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The Moment I Said It

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_The moment I said it_

Sasuke could feel the weight leaving the bed on the other side as he feigned sleep, feeling his heart sink. Closing his eyes, the young raven's lips trembled with the force of held back tears threatening to spill over the rim of his eyes.

There was nothing like the feeling of listening to your lover, the one you trusted with everything you had, and most importantly, your heart… listening to the soft slide of fabric as he pulls his pants up his legs, his shirt onto his shoulders, and the jingling of his keys as he's walking out the door. There was nothing like the feeling of listening to your lover walk out the door to see another.

_The moment I opened my mouth_

Sasuke said not a word the first night as he listened to Itachi shut the door with as soft a click as was possible, and waited for the soft footsteps leading to the front door. Closing his eyes, he could feel the tickle of tears trail across the bridge of his nose, crawl over his flushed cheeks and onto the pillow; the pillow he'd soaked in tears every single night.

The feel of nothing but empty space beside him matched the weight of the hole in his heart. Sobbing, Sasuke rolled over, pulling Itachi's pillow into his chest.

_Lead in your eyelids_

The house was silent save for the muted plop of tears falling to his bed sheets. The gentle rumble of the cat napping lazily at the end of his bed reminded Sasuke of the soft purr of Itachi's car as it pulled out the driveway.

And just like every night, he fell asleep with a broken heart and swollen eyes, waiting for the weight of a warm body to sink into the bed before Apollo chased the night away once again. Thinking that Sasuke would be resting peacefully, Itachi would come home, smelling of Naruto's cologne.

It was early morning when he felt the arms pull him close to a warm body, a body betraying his trust and his love, Sasuke couldn't take it. Pulling away, steadily feigning sleep, he turned over and out of his lovers embrace, feeling his brother let go in surprise.

_Bulldozed the life out of me_

Turning his face deeper into the pillow, Sasuke narrowed his eyes, the tears falling over his pained features. The smell, he couldn't stand the smell of a lover on _his_ lover, and his best friend, none the less. It was like plunging a knife through his heart.

Itachi settled for gluing himself to Sasuke's back, breathing in even exhalations against his neck. "I love you," he whispered.

'If you loved me, you wouldn't be hurting me this way, brother…'

As the sun rose, so did Sasuke, ignoring his lover calling him back to bed, feeling the need to just leave and force Itachi to feel every bit of hurt he felt every time he left him in stead for a friend he thought he could trust in.

His life was so fucked up.

_I know what you're thinking_

Breakfast was a silent affair, and Sasuke felt that he could cut the tension with his fork. He could feel Itachi's stare burning into his skull as the younger silently ate what was left on his plate, wishing he could just say what he wanted to say, but he would wait for the right time to let Itachi know that he knew what he had been up to.

"Sasuke…"

_But darling you're not thinking straight_

"What?" he answered, stabbing the fork wrapped in his white-knuckled hands, into the food in his plate. This same man who claimed to love him, though stabbed him in the back repeatedly, sitting across the table as if he had not spent the night fucking his best friend into the mattress. Sasuke hated himself for not being able to say a thing, to speak out to his lover, though he would rather be punched in the gut a thousand times over by the one he loved.

"What are you thinking?"

'Of how I could tell you how much you are hurting me.'

"Nothing," he grumbled, standing and taking his plate to the sink, planning to retreat before this simple conversation escalated into a shouting match like all their others.

Sasuke didn't get far before the door bell rang. Finding an escape, he was out of the door before Itachi could say a word.

_Sadly things just happen we can't...  
_

And there was Naruto at the door, yelling something to him about going to a movie that night, though seeing in his peripheral vision as his brother shook his head towards the blonde, and suddenly, Naruto changed his mind and switched dates.

_explain_

"Eh, how 'bout another time, Sasuke-teme?" Sasuke felt the pang of betrayal, the feeling of loss, and depression. Grabbing his coat, he glanced back at Itachi one last time, making sure he saw every bit of pain covering his features, and then he was out the door.

He was pretty sure Naruto stayed behind.

"Sasuke, otouto, where are you going?" Itachi playing his mind games with him, feigning concern; ignorance. This time, Sasuke didn't give an answer, this time, Sasuke didn't look back.

Behind him, Itachi ran a hand through his hair, feeling the stress of keeping up this charade. He didn't want this anymore. Not for him and his brother, he never wanted this, but Naruto…

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_It's not even light out_

It was nightfall and Sasuke was just getting home, only for his brother to be headed in the opposite direction; out the door. Itachi only spared him a glance, and Sasuke felt his heart wilt within his chest.

"Itachi, where are you going?" His love paused, watch halfway on his wrist, keys already clenched within his pale fists. "Why are you leaving again?"

Itachi looked down and away, eyelashes fanning against his cheeks before he glanced up from under his lids in faint annoyance, feeling backed into a wall. "Out," Was all he Sasuke was dignified with as an answered. Out of all the excuses Itachi had ever made, this one hurt the most, because this time, it seemed as if his lover didn't even care to come up with something to ease his suspicions anymore. He just didn't care.

_But you've somewhere to be_

Sasuke turned away, tears traveling up to his eyes again. Itachi couldn't cover this one. "Ah, to see Naruto, I assume."

But he couldn't veil the truth from Sasuke's eyes. Itachi began working on sliding the watch on his wrist once again, caught but not revealing a single thing, no matter how guilty he should have felt.

"Sasuke, just stay out of my business, please." Itachi was turning to leave, grabbing the jacket to slide onto his shoulders, leaving his sullen lover behind, and feeling like the dirt under his very own boots. Forgetting to hold his composure, Sasuke sobbed, watching as Itachi paused at the door, watching with a hard visage, but seeing his hurt beneath all that.

"And you would just leave, just leave _us_ like this?"

_No hesitation_

"You don't even care how much you've hurt me?" His sobs filled the otherwise silent room, as Itachi watched him with stoic eyes, black orbs resembling Sasuke's own giving away only a hint of the guilt his lover wished he could feel full force.

The hurt, the hurt was incomparable.

"Sasuke, you knew, and yet you've let this go on. It's obvious that you didn't care much for this relationship much either, little brother." Itachi trying to rectify the situation, to simplify everything, but this time it wasn't going to work. "Why are you making a big deal of it tonight?"

_No I've never seen you like this_

Itachi was cold, chilly and unforgiveable, though he being the one that needed to be forgiven, and yet Sasuke began to feel like the bad guy in this situation. He was so tired of this, so tired and yet here he was trying to fight for this failing relationship, but how he loved Itachi so much. This was too much. Here Itachi was trying to walk out of there relationship, turning it into dust, like he'd never held Sasuke's heart in the palm of his hand; like he wasn't squeezing it with every cold look, every word, and every time he would leave him.

No one ever said that he couldn't be the one to leave though.

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Naruto was waiting for him in the hotel they had purchased for this one night, but here was his beloved, tears trailing down his porcelain cheeks, just ready to make things right, and Itachi wanted this so much, and yet…

_And I don't like it_

Sasuke was hysterical, and then he fled into the other room. Itachi felt pulled to follow, wondering what he could do, say to end this confrontation, to make Sasuke know that he didn't want to continue this ordeal if all they were going to do was argue and fight all the time. Naruto had been his escape, the temptation on his doorstep, and Itachi had not refused this.

His love, his baby brother, he loved him with every piece of his heart, not a spot left untouched by Sasuke, though he needed this, this distraction, because he felt he would break if things continued the way that they were going.

_I don't like it_

Upon entering the room, Itachi could feel his stomach drop as he watched his lover begin to stash clothes into a suitcase, eyes wild and red from the tears dripping onto the carpeted floored beneath his feet.

Before he could even comprehend what he was doing, Itachi was walking swiftly to his brother's side, pulling clothes from the suitcase, throwing them around the room, vaguely hearing Sasuke's screams in his ear. All he could think was that his beloved was trying to leave him, leave _them_, and though that was what his main priority had been earlier, he couldn't stand the thought of never being able to hold his brother every night.

_I don't like it at all_

"Itachi, what are you doing?" Sasuke shouted, stuffing shirts and pants, pictures and reminders being left behind as he continued to throw things in, all the while, Itachi is against his leaving, throwing things back onto the bed. "Why are you doing this?"

Itachi never wanted this, never would have seen this for their future when he'd ask this boy to be with him, and he hated Sasuke for trying to leave him alone here, with the guilt of what he'd been doing for months. "You're not going anywhere Sasuke, do you hear me?" The loudest he had ever heard himself, but right now he couldn't bring himself to care, he was losing the only one he felt he could ever let into his heart. Naruto could never come close.

"Fine, I'll just come back when you aren't here," Sasuke shouted, pushing past his brother who was panting with the pain of his feeling, boiling over the edge, the pain of his heart beating out of his chest as his love was about to walk out that door and leave all of this behind.

_Just put back the car keys_

Rushing forward, Itachi grabbed his brother's wrist, pulling him with enough strength to cause the smaller boy to stumble over his feet and fall against the floor, pain wracking up from his hands and knees.

"Sasuke, you can't lea-," he began, only to be cut of with a shove from his brother once he'd recovered from the fall.

"And what, Itachi, did you expect for me to be here every time you came back from fucking my best friend. You, the person I trusted the most?" Itachi couldn't think straight, Sasuke's words like a hammer, pounding into him again and again, always piercing just the right spot. The guilt was horrendous, but after what he'd done, what else did he expect to feel.

Running his hands through his dark strands, he let them both rest over his forehead, shielding his eyes from his beloved. Sasuke continued to rant, finally being given the chance to say everything he had been holding onto for longer than Itachi suspected.

"You just come back every night, pretending that everything is okay, but it will never be."

_Or somebody's Gonna get hurt_

Sauske was wilting, the prettiest flower he'd ever seen, falling to the ground and curling within itself, dying right before his eyes, and it was all his doing. Itachi watched as Sasuke made his way out the room, heading for the front door, but he couldn't just let the other leave.

He couldn't.

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He couldn't believe Itachi was realizing his mistake at the last possible moment, when he was finally losing everything he held dear. Sasuke didn't understand how it had taken this to reach the conclusion that he wasn't going to wait around for Itachi to come to his senses any longer.

Itachi was following him, telling him not to leave, and begging him, though Sasuke let it all go in one ear and out the other, like it seemed Itachi had been doing for months now when it came to his feelings. All those excuses, all those lies, Itachi could have them back, because now they weren't worth shit when the truth came to the light.

_Who are you calling at this hour?_

Itachi's phone was ringing, the little tune seemed much too happy for the occasion, but Itachi ignored it, continued to fruitlessly convince Sasuke to sort things out, to salvage this beyond-damaged relationship.

Sasuke's turned from the door, the pain written upon his beautiful face, almost too much for Itachi to look at. "Naruto is calling for you," he spoke softly, voice cracking, mirroring his heart. Sasuke watched as his brother raised his hands out towards him, lips trembling as he shook his head in hopelessness.

"I don't wish to be with him, Sasuke, not if our love is at stake."

'Oh brother, our love was at stake long ago'

Shaking his head, Sasuke pulled the door open and walked out. "Too bad you didn't think of that before, Itachi."

_Sit down, come round, I need you now_

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_

The tune on his phone cut off mid-way, signaling that Naruto had finally given up. Itachi watched as his brother jumped in his car and turned on the engine, getting ready to reverse, though the boy just sat there, fingers clenched around the steering wheel as his bangs were shielding his eyes from his brother.

Itachi took this chance to walk swiftly to the car, opening the door so that he could speak with his love. By this time, Sasuke was sobbing heavily, face screwed up in pain, wishing he'd had the heart to leave. He turned, ready to push his brother away, but Itachi kneeled between his legs, pulling him forward so that Itachi could wrap his arms around Sasuke's waist.

Sasuke struggled, but only as much as he wanted to before he gave up, allowing Itachi to pull his head onto a broad shoulder. Naruto's lingering scent still played around Itachi's shirt. Naruto must have stayed earlier, just as he had expected.

_We'll work it all out together_

"Itachi why are you doing this to me, just let me go…" Sasuke whispered, turning his face so that his voice wouldn't be muffled by the soft fabric of Itachi's shirt. "If I leave, you can have everything you want, you can have Naruto."

Swallowing, Itachi could feel the tears he had been trying to hold back since the very beginning, trickle down his cheeks and land into Sasuke's bed of hair.

"I don't want him, I want to be with you," he soothed, hands rubbing his lover's hips in a circle motion, trying to convince Sasuke that there were more important things right now, a heart that needed to be mended. This time he had to get things right with Sasuke, Itachi needed to let him know that he couldn't live without him.

_But we're getting nowhere tonight_

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'I can't let him do this to me again'

"Itachi, we can't do this anymore, we can't," Sasuke cried, placing his hand against his brother's cheek, speaking gently. "We're only hurting ourselves."

Itachi felt like he'd been kicked in the gut, having his lover refuse him, want to leave him like their years together didn't even matter, but hadn't he been the one to mess this up?

Sighing, Sasuke pushed his brother away, and Itachi reluctantly pulled away, standing once again, though he felt like he would fall at any moment. Hands trembling, he ran them through his tangled locks, the anxiety of it all just getting to him. "Sasuke, please, stay?"

_Now sleep, I promise it'll all seem better_

Shaking his head, he turned his feet back into car, and shut the door for the final time. 'I'm sorry,' were what his lips said through the window, but Itachi's heart said that Sasuke wouldn't leave things like this, not Sasuke.

_Somehow in time_

Itachi placed a hand against the window, tears streaming down his cheeks, willing Sasuke to give him a chance, at least to see how much Itachi wanted to mend their relationship, to make things right. Sasuke had given up a long time ago, and now it was too late, but Itachi couldn't let it go like this.

Avoiding his eyes, Sasuke began to back out, and there was nothing Itachi could do but get into his own car and follow behind, even if at least to make sure that Sasuke got to wherever he was headed to safely.

_It's not even light out_

Picking up his cell phone, Itachi dialed Naruto's number, eyes never leaving the car in front of him.

"Hello?" Itachi had never planned for this to happen, hated that he'd betrayed Sasuke this way, and he would get him back no matter what.

Tightening his hold on the steering wheel, Itachi ground his teeth together as he followed Sasuke up until a stop light, watching as Sasuke's car sped past the yellow light before it could turn red. Itachi hadn't been so lucky, and he could feel the panic welling up inside of him as he watched his lover get farther and farther away from him.

_Suddenly (suddenly) oh, you've somewhere to be_

"I'm not coming, Naruto." He spoke indifferently, trying to hide all that was pushing against the barrage of emotions he was trying to keep a reign on.

On the other end, he could hear the disappointed sigh from the blond, the one he would always hear when he'd fed Sasuke an excuse almost every night when he would leave to see Naruto.

The reception crackled for a moment, before Naruto spoke, slowly. "Tell Sasuke that I never meant for this to happen, and that… I'm sorry. Will ya, please?" Itachi couldn't hold back his sobs for long as he hung up the phone, speeding past the light just as soon as it turned green.

_With no hesitation_

Itachi couldn't help the breath of relief he felt as he spotted Sasuke's car far up ahead, but the license plate was noticeable, even from the distance, the words 'UCHIHA' stood out to him.

Without a thought, he dialed Sasuke's number, putting the phone to his ear. The fact that his brother answered, and on the first ring, none the less, left him thrown at Sasuke's tolerance. He would not have been surprised if he and his brother became estranged after this night was over.

Sasuke was driving like a crazed man, swerving past cars, switching lanes carelessly, the thought that something could happen at anytime frightened Itachi beyond words.

_Oh, I've never seen you like this_

On the other end, Sasuke's breathing was all that could reach his ears, and beyond his own beating heart, he didn't know what else he was supposed to say. "Sasuke, please, are you trying to kill yourself?"

A sob was his answer, as his brother switched lanes once again, and the thought that Sasuke was trying to lose him trekked across his mind. "It would have been better than what you've put me through," Sasuke breathed, words coming out shaky across the receiver.

_You're scaring me_

Swiping a hand across his cheeks, Itachi narrowed his eyes as he watched as Sasuke put his life at risk, playing around on the road as if it was all a joke. "Don't do this to me Sasuke. Just pull over, and we'll talk about this, please?"

The sound of a rampantly honking horn brought his attention to the angry driver now swerving in front of his brother, making the younger stomp on his breaks. Fortunately, Itachi was far enough away to slow down and besides, there weren't many drivers out at this time of night.

_You're scaring me_

"Sasuke, just pull over, _please_?" Itachi panicked, wishing that Sasuke would stop being so stubborn. Yes, he fucked up, and yes he realized things weren't going to just get better, but Sasuke could not end it like this, he couldn't be so reckless and stupid.

Swearing loudly, Sasuke yelled into the phone, "Maybe I just want you to feel what I felt, if only for just this instant. The whole time, you never even stopped to think that I might know, that every time you left, you left behind a gaping hole in my chest, and this time, Itachi, you cannot fix this!"

_You're scaring me to death_

"Sasuke, please, you know that I love you, and I know I made a mistake, but you are going to _kill _yourself, just pull over, please? We can talk about this, Sasuke, I love you so much." Panting with the exertion of speaking all his emotions so openly, Itachi sped up, switching lanes so that he could pull up next to Sasuke's car.

Phone still glued to his ears, he rolled down his window, pinning Sasuke with his eyes. Sasuke seemed frightened; afraid to even look him in the eyes, though it would not have even been smart in the first place, considering that they were still driving.

"Sasuke, please, pull over," Itachi pleaded, wanting to hold his beloved, tell him how foolish he had been, how he never wanted to give them up; he loved Sasuke way too much to just let him go.

"I don't know if I can," Sasuke whispered through the phone, glancing over at Itachi.

"Please?" Never, never had he wanted something so much in his life than for his brother to pull over and talk to him so that he can make things right.

At that moment, they were staring at one another, wishing that the doors separating them would just disappear, so that they could make up. Everything else had disappeared, Naruto didn't matter anymore, nothing mattered anymore, but threading the fabric of this relationship back together.

"I love you so much, Itachi, I-,"

_Don't…ohh _

_Smash._

He hadn't seen it coming, the lights flashing closer and closer towards Sasuke, unknowingly as they ran the red light, thinking of nothing but the other.

"Sasuke!" And then Sasuke's car was crashing into his own, though the hit only forced his car to skid across the road, he suffered from only a scratch.

_Please don't_

Scrambling towards the passenger seat door once the car stopped, Itachi fell out onto the street, heart beating beyond what he feared was normal, but what else could he do when the thought of his brother possibly dying in the car across the way kept crossing his mind.

Already, as he ran towards his brother's destroyed Camry, he could hear the ambulance closing in, the few pedestrians there were had stopped, and another was crying in the receiver. Itachi paid them no mind as he fell to his knees outside the driver's side door which had caved in almost completely.

_And a - please - nother one_

Standing up shakily, he jogged to the other side, pulling the passenger door open, which was only dented slightly, due to the impact with his own vehicle.

"Sasuke," he called, hearing the heavy breathing; the gasping, he could smell the blood, and he panicked. "SASUKE!"

And there he was, bent awkwardly, between the door and the steering wheel, the air bag not having softened the impact at all, had not even protruded from the wheel. Sasuke's dark eyes were shining with a fresh sheen of tears, staring back at him as his chest heaved. Itachi covered his mouth with a hand, pushing himself into the car.

The glass from the windows cut through his pants and into his knees. "Ita-chi…" Sasuke whimpered, bloody fingers twitching from their resting place on the seat. By this time, the ambulance had arrived, and Itachi's fingers were fluttering everywhere, wanting to touch his brother, help him, save him, anything as long as he could have him.

_Don't… ohh_

_Smash _

Fingers covered in blood, Itachi settled for caressing the stained locks away from his lover's forehead. "The ambulance is here, Sasuke, they're going to get you out of here, I promise."

_Please don't…ohh_

Sasuke was crying silently, the tears cutting a track through the blood on his face, and regardless of even that, Itachi leaned forward, kissing the twitching lips he hadn't felt on his for a long time now.

The taste of blood on his lips, Sasuke's blood, brought surging emotions he thought he'd never feel again. Anger, pain, depression, and this time he wished it was he hat had gotten hurt, but once again it was the one who didn't deserve it. Sasuke's lips moved as if he had something to say, but Itachi gently shushed him. "Save your strength, Sasuke."

_I'm losing you_

The ambulance crew was working on getting the door open, though when Sasuke winced, Itachi could tell that it was causing the boy some pain.

"You're hurting him," Itachi shouted over Sasuke's shoulder, before sliding out of the passenger seat as they came around to try and dislodge the young raven from the car. The cries coming from the car were hurting Itachi much more than he would have ever thought possible.

His thoughts were pointing towards the fact that none of this would have happened had he not tried to leave that night to be with someone else.

_I'm losing you_

_._

_._

Moments later, they had Sasuke strapped to a stretcher and loaded him into the back of the truck, a medic pressing a cloth along his brother's abdomen to stop the bleeding. Itachi was allowed to ride along, but could never once take his eyes off his younger brother, listening to the ragged breathing, the way Sasuke's dark eyes never left his own.

Blinking slowly, eyebrows furrowed, Itachi squeezed the hand in his own, never mind everyone else that could hear everything he was saying. "I'm so sorry, Sasuke, I love you," he began to repeat.

_Trust me on this one_

The wait was what killed him the most, knowing if Sasuke was okay, knowing that there was a chance that he could…

_I've got a bad feeling_

If Sasuke died then there would be nothing left here for him. If he died, then surely Itachi would follow behind him.

Hours – seemed like days – later, the surgeon finally appeared in the hall, shaking Itachi gently, who had fallen asleep in the waiting room, eyes sullen.

_Trust me on this one_

"Uchiha-san, I'm sorry, but… you're brother didn't make it. We did all we could…"

Itachi didn't hear the rest, couldn't hear the rest. His love had perished and there was nothing left for him. So turning mid-sentence, he ignored the doctor as he walked away, feeling the tears pour from his eyes, not even bothering to wipe them away.

Upon exiting, Itachi could see Naruto, pacing near the sliding double doors, though this time, he couldn't feel a thing.

"Itachi! How is he, did you hear anything?" Naruto was hysterical, disheveled and the puffiness of his eyelids spoke volumes.

He need not say a word, for his eyes said everything, and at once, Naruto was falling to the ground, arms clutched around his midsection, while Itachi continued on his way out, never looking back, and never speaking a word.

_You're gonna throw it all away_

_._

_.  
_

In his car, he fingered the trigger of his gun, the weight of it not even coming close to the heavy weight in his heart. The guilt, he couldn't live with the guilt of what he'd done, not being able to make it right, though knowing that at least Sasuke had told him he'd loved him and he'd said the same, only moments before impact.

Kept remembering the last time they'd made love, the last thing he said to Sasuke before he was ready to walk out that door, how he'd tried to turn the table and make himself into the victim, though Sasuke was the one getting hurt all along.

Sasuke had deserved better, and here he was feeling pity for himself, but he'd made a promise to himself that he would follow if Sasuke was gone. The wait had been like a countdown; how long would he have left to live if his love wasn't coming home with him?

_With no hesitation_

At least this promise he would keep, at least this time he would be true to himself. This way, he got a second chance, and he knew without a doubt that he would end up with Sasuke one way or another.

Across the lot, Naruto was making his way over, but Itachi didn't want to see him, didn't want to see his mistake. So with that he placed the gun underneath his jaw, body wracking with sobs. The blonde was running now, towards his car and the closer he came to talking the Uchiha out of his plans the closer he got.

The closer Naruto came, the farther Sasuke became, and Itachi hesitated no longer.

_Smash _


End file.
